


Dating Advice With Fireteam Pluto

by Fireteam_Pluto



Series: Phoenix [3]
Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Comedy, Dating, F/M, Humor, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Humor, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 04:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11570736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fireteam_Pluto/pseuds/Fireteam_Pluto
Summary: By Neeb.Koru Sen has always been a little awkward, but with his new friends' (questionable) help he might be able to conquer that obstacle and get the girl of his dreams!





	Dating Advice With Fireteam Pluto

He leaned against the steel railing that rose just above his waist, watching as various people, Guardians, vendors, broom-bots, and others still went about their business in the Tower’s central plaza. The wind whipped his long, ice-white coat around his legs and mussed his carefully combed and parted black hair. The fiery bond on his arm remained burning without regard to any element as mundane as the wind.

“Cute,” He whispered to himself, his bright gold eyes scanning the crowd below him, but always drawn back to focus on a single point of his vision. To something; someone.

“Huh? You say something?” A firm clap on his shoulder shook him from his nearly hypnotized state. 

Koru Sen jumped in surprise, standing straight to address the other man, dressed in the light armor traditionally favored by the Hunters and colored a deep, forest green--but Koru knew Phoenix was no hunter. Not traditionally, in any case. Practically adopted by Cayde-6, but with abilities no Guardian has wielded before.

Phoenix’s green eyes and short, messy brown hair were not particularly noteworthy, but his jovial smile put Koru off. He was not accustomed to seeing someone so happy all the time.

Koru sighed and straightened his collar, then proceeded to check his gear with practiced, but wholly superfluous, prudence. After a moment of tense silence, the whistle of the wind through the eaves of the Tower its only break, he finally asked, “So, Phoenix, done with your business in the plaza?”

Phoenix nodded and joined his teammate in leaning against the railing, looking out at all the other Guardians milling about. “Yeah, I just had to check in with the Speaker.” He chuckled to himself and ran a hand through his messy hair. 

“You mean Cayde,” Koru corrected, “I refuse to acknowledge  _ him _ as the Speaker.” He scoffed in obvious disdain.

“Well,” Phoenix held back an offended reaction and took a sharp breath, “Better than the old one. Servant of the darkness and all that.”

Koru shrugged. “You make an excellent point. Honestly, I think we should consider abolishing the position altogether after that debacle, but I understand why it has to be a secret.”

Phoenix smiled and looked him square in the eye, “Thanks for that, man. I’m really glad you get it, and that you won’t ever mention it again.” He delivered the last sentence with an uncomfortable, slightly higher tone. After a brief pause, he spoke in a more even pitch, “So, what were you doing up here? Don’t you have books to categorize alphabetically?” He nudged the warlock with his elbow lightly in the side.

Koru’s jaw tensed, “I was just, ah, enjoying the view.”

“View’s that way, bud.” Phoenix cocked his thumb to the right toward the Tower’s picturesque view of the Last City nestled in the mountains, mid-afternoon sunlight painting the landscape a warm yellow. Puffy cumulus clouds rolled above the valley of the city, casting foreboding shadows on the huge metal wall surrounding the perimeter. “No, you were up here looking at someone! You were looking at a girl, weren’t you?”

“It’s not…” Koru trailed off, a blush rising in his cheeks faintly.

“A guy?”

“What?” Koru stiffened and shook his head slightly. “No, no. Not a guy.”

Phoenix chuckled. “Ha, never seen an Awoken blush before. You look kinda purple now.” He clapped Koru on the right shoulder again. “So, which one is it?”

The Awoken warlock sighed in resignation, leaned against the railing on the balcony next to Phoenix, and nodded toward the object of his focus. “Over there, the one talking to the master cryptarch.”

Phoenix leaned forward and squinted, “Warlock, female, red coat, brown hair?” After a pause he added, “And I’m gonna guess… 34C cup size?” 

Koru pinched the bridge of his nose and hung his head, but muttered, “Yeah, that’s her. I’ve been watching her for a while now. Her name is Eve.”

“That’s not creepy or anything,” Phoenix remarked with palpable sarcasm as he straightened up into a comfortable position. “So, have you talked to her at all? Laid the moves, asked her out?”

“No. She’s a completely different class than I am. She’s a Voidwalker. I’m a Sunsinger.”

Phoenix shrugged. “So? Roy hooked up with a Defender titan the other day. She popped her bubble out and they banged right in the middle of the battlefield.”

Koru grimaced. “I know. I was there. Hey,” he looked out to the cityscape again, this time watching the many ships, Guardians’ and civilian alike, dropping people off in the hangar. “Where is Roy, anyway? His tower business is usually quick.”

“Oh yeah, he’s on his ship with a booty call. Hear he’s got a king size bed in there.”

“Another one? Wow, he’s virile as an ox.”

“Hung like one, too.” Phoenix muttered under his breath.

“Huh?”

“Anyway,” Phoenix shifted his tone again, louder and more direct now. “You were saying something about… nerd stuff?”

Koru cocked an eyebrow up inquisitively. He may not have been an official hunter, but some stereotypes still shone through his stubborn teammate’s behavior. “Thanks,” He replied flatly, “Anyways, it’s just different for warlocks, I think. With hunters and titans, it’s easy--you just trade jokes and stories. Us warlocks, well, we’re more inclined to trade theories and philosophical debates.” He slapped his palm on the railing, making it vibrate slightly as he pushed himself away from it and closer to the balcony wall, pacing around in slow circles now. He motioned to Phoenix with frustrated hand gestures, “I mean, when was the last time you popped a boner thinking about quantum flux irregularities and their effect on the properties of plasma?”

“Never.” Phoenix said simply. “But it might work on her. She’s a warlock, too.”

Koru groaned in aggravation, tossing his head back to look at the sky as he did. “A different kind, though! We have a saying about Voidwalkers in our order, it goes ‘They know nothing. What me know: matters.’”

Phoenix leveled his gaze at Koru. “That is the smartest dumb reason to not talk to a girl. Ever.” He shook his head.

The familiar clunk of heavy boots on steel stairs gave away the approach of a titan. Koru and Phoenix turned to greet Commander Roy, who gave a wave as he approached, his stride notably bowl-legged as he adjusted his armor’s large codpiece. 

Phoenix gave a wave while Koru offered a two-fingered salute in greetings.

“Hey Roy, you missed it. So Koru is having these girl problems, and--” 

Roy reached out and patted Phoenix on the shoulder as he walked past him. He settled next to Koru and grabbed both of the other men’s shoulders to bring them in close. “I didn’t miss anything, silly.”

Commander Roy was an imposing giant of a man. Standing a head taller than either of his teammates, clad in heavy violet armor accented with gold, and with a jolly roger flag hanging from his hip, he did not give the impression of a man to be trifled with. Despite this, his clean-shaven head, thick black beard and warm brown eyes gave him an endearing quality. 

“Wait,” Koru started, wriggling out of Roy’s grasp, “What do you mean by that?”

Roy laughed heartily and looked out at the plaza. “I muted my mic and put you guys on the speaker.”

Koru frowned and looked away in embarrassment.

“Yeah, they heard everything, too.”

Koru stiffened. 

Phoenix gave a low whistle in surprise, “So, when you say ‘they’...”

With an incredulous look Roy responded. “It was her, our ghosts, and Gypsy. Don’t make it weird, Phoenix.”

“Gypsy? Your cat?”

“Yeah, bitches love cats. And where else would I put her? She’s old. She deserves to sleep in the room I bang in.”

“All right, no hate.” Phoenix raised his hands palm-out in surrender. “So was it the titan from the other day?” He nudged Roy in the side with his elbow, “Eh?”

“Oh god, no. That girl won’t be walking straight for a week. Nah, this time it was some other chick. Uhh… Rachel, maybe?” Roy shrugged and smiled, then patted Koru on the back. “Don’t worry, though. She thinks it’s cute you’re shy about this girl.”

Koru hung his head again. “Thanks.”

Phoenix chimed in, “So Roy, I was thinking we should help Koru out. Give him the classic dating advice. What do you say?”

Roy shrugged again, this time in obvious indifference. “I mean, there’s not much to it. Just whip out your cock, she’ll be on her knees in no time. Works for me all the time.”

Koru glanced nervously down to his crotch before muttering, “I don’t think that will work.”

“Hmm,” Roy turned to Phoenix, “Which one are we talking about?”

Phoenix pointed her out. “The brunette warlock by the vaults. Bangs, tan skin.”

“Oh, her? Yeah, I remember. It totally--” 

Phoenix stopped Roy with a sharp jab to the ribs. Koru scowled over at the both of them.

“--didn’t work, at all.” Roy concluded, only halfheartedly, as he massaged his side. “Ass.”

“Okay, so Roy, just follow my lead. Koru, do you want our help?” Phoenix asked a little too politely.

Koru sighed and shrugged, gazing longingly at Eve from afar. “Sure, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could die on her next mission without ever knowing how you feel about her, all because you’re being a little bitch about this.” Roy offered. At his teammates’ appalled stares, he remarked, “What? He asked.”

“All right then,” Phoenix brought his hands up in front of him and rubbed them together slightly. “So, let’s start simple. How did you plan to ask her out?”

“I don’t know.” Koru looked up at the twisted tree in front of the gunsmith’s shop, its red-leafed branches reached up and obscured much of the view. “Maybe we could study together?” He offered after a short silence.

Phoenix crossed his arms and gave Koru a blank look. “Come on, dude. Don’t be a nerd. Take this seriously.”

Koru sighed and held his chin in his hand in thought. “How about a friendly debate?”

“That’s even worse.” Phoenix said.

“Yeah, and you don’t want anyone’s feelings hurt.” Roy added.

“Lunch? Dinner?” Koru suggested with little zeal.

“Nah, she can get that from any shmuck in the city. Think about something special only you could give her.” Phoenix retorted.

“Uhh,” Koru craned his neck back to look up at the perfectly blue sky above. “Maybe we could go on patrol together? Or something, I don’t know.” He trailed off, eyes to the sky.

Phoenix clapped once, loudly, and stood a little straighter. “That’s a good start! But, I think we can go bigger. There’s bounties up for some nasty baddies.”

“I don’t know guys, I don’t want to embarrass myself.” Koru let his shoulders slump a bit. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the infinite possibilities, endless scenarios of choice and consequence in the hypothetical realm. Each one ended in rejection.

Roy patted Koru on the back in reassurance. “Oh, come on. You’re gonna embarrass yourself anyway. Might as well swing for the fences.”

Koru gave the titan an icy glare. “Thanks,” he returned with cold sarcasm. “Are you sure you guys are the experts you claim to be? You know, giving me good advice and actually helping me? What would you do in my situation?”

Roy grinned wide and stepped over to stand next to Phoenix. “Well, if you  _ have _ to talk, try this.” He leaned in close to Phoenix and spoke in a low, sultry tone barely above a whisper, “Hey girl, did you fall from heaven?”

For a moment Koru almost smiled. “Classic,”

“Because I’ve always wanted to fuck an angel.” Roy finished.

Phoenix made a mock swooning gesture, but Koru’s face settled back to fit his stoic demeanor. “And you’ve ruined it.”

“Well that’s one way,” Phoenix started as he looked to the warlock, “But what I’d do is walk up to her, and give her a compliment. Say, ‘Hey Eve, I really like your boots today.’ And then walk away.” He clicked his tongue and made a motion of waving, then pointing and shooting a gun in the opposite direction. 

Koru tilted his head a bit. “That’s it?”

Phoenix gave a cheeky smirk, “Exactly. That’s it. Then when she grabs you to ask that same question you know she’s hooked. Tell her, ‘I figured a girl as beautiful as you would already have a boyfriend. I just wanted to give you a nice compliment, have a great day.’ Chances are if they’re interested they’ll say they don’t have a boyfriend. Doesn’t have to be true. Then offer to buy her a drink and you’re in. Boom.” He clapped. “Pussytown.” He smiled. “Population:” He made little guns out of both his hands and mock-fired them at Koru’s chest, “you.”

“And if that doesn’t work try mine!” Roy offered.

“Remember, the key is confidence.” 

Koru nodded.

“But don’t steal my technique.” Phoenix added sharply.

“What? Why?” Koru asked indignantly.

“If it catches on then every guy will start doing it, then it won’t work anymore. Not worth the risk. But you’re a smart guy, you can get a good technique out of what I just told you, right?” Phoenix pondered for a moment, staring at the space behind Koru. “What do you call that kind of thing?”

“Derivative.” Koru answered absently, his eyes on the Last City down below.

“Derivi-what?” Roy asked. “How do you spell that?”

Phoenix worked his mouth a little before breaking the awkward silence that had overtaken them. “You know, I think this calls for a more feminine touch.” He raised his hand palm-up and flexed his fingers slightly. “Hey, Skye, mind giving our buddy Koru some help with his lady troubles?”

Skye, Phoenix’s ghost, materialized out of thin air with a brief flash of cubic light particles to hover over his palm. Her pointed frame bobbed in the air slightly as her single bright green eye looked up at Phoenix. “ _ Sure, what’s the situation, big guy _ ?” She turned to look at Koru, tilted on her axis inquisitively.

Koru nodded toward Eve. “That one, checking out the bounty board.”

Skye’s frame seemed to tighten around her eye as if she were squinting--or perhaps it was a conscious imitation. “ _ Oh dear, warlock love. _ ”

Phoenix couldn’t help but laugh at that. ”What, is that bad?”

Skye turned around to face them all and shook ‘no’ as she said, “ _ No, it’s just really, really awkward. _ ” She looked over to Koru, seemed to recoil at his displeased expression, then floated up closer to him. “ _ Oh, only at first! Don’t worry. _ ” Her tone was just shy of genuine.

Koru crossed his arms, lowered his head and glared at the ghost. “Thanks.”

“So what do you think,” Phoenix addressed Skye, “Any advice from a woman’s point of view?”

She nodded, her entire frame dipping in the action. “ _ What’s been discussed? Study buddies? _ ”

Phoenix shook his head. “Shut that one down.”

“ _ Good. _ ” Skye visibly sagged as if breathing a sigh of relief. “ _ Dinner? _ ”

“Too obvious.” 

Another awkward pause took over as Skye’s frame spun around her core in thought. “ _...Patrol? _ ”

“On the table.” Phoenix nodded.

Skye’s frame spun around her eye in delight. “ _ Okay, great! Koru, you need to show her you’re interesting, dependable, and strong. Patrol is a great start! Maybe she has some bounties you could help her with? _ ”

“Ooh, ooh, Koru,” Roy spoke up, “See if she wants to raid a Fallen ketch. Show your dominance and headbutt a Kell to death!” He beamed with pride, remembering their first mission.

“I don’t think I can do that.” Koru responded dryly.

“Helps to be drunk first.” Roy shrugged and produced a flask from his belt, taking a mighty swig.

“ _ Look, _ ” Skye interrupted, “ _ just go talk to her. With how long she’s been milling around, she’s probably leaving soon. You won’t get a better chance! _ ” She offered Koru a cheerful series of synthetic bells and whistles for his encouragement.

“You got this, bro.” Phoenix added with a smile.

Roy lightly punched him on the shoulder then pushed him toward the stairs. “Go get her, man.”

Koru nodded and smiled then, making his way down the stairs. “Thanks.” He started down the steel steps. His light footfalls seemed to grow heavier and stiffer even as they grew quieter.

As the trio watched their warlock approach his crush nervously, they shared a knowing glance.

Skye asked them, once Koru was out of earshot, “ _ You guys didn’t tell him to just be himself, did you? _ ”

She was met with Phoenix’s incredulous reply, “Pfft, hell no.”

“Yeah,” Roy said between bouts of laughter, “Ha, what are we, stupid?”

“ _ Good. _ ” She looked back down at Koru, her frame spinning in thoughts both happy and hopeful.

Eve was a vision of iridescent beauty to Koru’s lovestruck gaze. She stood with her back arched slightly, away from him, hands on the steel railing. Her own gaze was lost in the majestic view of the Last City below. Her deep, rose-red trench coat billowed on the breeze, wafting around her shapely legs in black pants and her navy blue knee-high combat boots.

Koru slowed as he approached directly behind her, pondering if he should hide behind the tall red banner that flanked the main plaza’s concrete stairs with its three brethren. All along the balcony Guardians were being dropped off by their ships and rushing to go about their business in the Tower. All around him, Guardians walked to and fro, bustling about on errands of their own. Through it all, Eve was transfixed by the cityscape on the horizon.

He stood stark still, his breath caught in his throat as his pulse pounded. A pit of nervous knots tightened in his stomach and his legs were locked in an anxious paradox in which they would not stop shaking but refused to allow him to take another step further.

Surely, he thought, it wouldn’t be difficult to disappear into the crowd and give up. He’d have to face Phoenix and Roy’s ridicule and jokes next time they were on a mission, and at the worst it would become a running gag, but maybe in the end it would be easier.

Eve’s head tilted slightly as she shifted position, now resting her elbows on the rail and her chin in her hands. The late afternoon sun colored her chocolate-brown, medium-length hair a dazzling array of warm reds and auburns in brilliant addition.

“Yeah!” A shout roared across the plaza from the right. Some heads turned but most did not. “Go get her, Koru! You got this!” Phoenix jumped up and waved ecstatically, with Roy fist-pumping the air beside him with gusto between drinks from one of his various flasks.

“Get that girl, brah!” Roy yelled with only a hint of drunkenness in his voice.

Eve turned to watch the growing spectacle that was Fireteam Pluto’s most boisterous members. Koru felt a rush seeing the silhouette of her features--the curve of her nose, the pout of her lips, her choppy bangs that hung just above her big, green eyes. And her smile! As radiant as the sun itself.

No, Koru thought to himself, now is not the time to be a coward. He forced himself to take a step, then another, again and again, until he was arm’s reach from her.

With a final “Woo!” from Phoenix, he and Roy quieted themselves again to watch the scene unfold.

Koru Sen stood a little taller, straightened his meticulously combed black hair, and took a deep breath. No matter what he did, however, he could still feel the warm blood rising to his cheeks. Finally, he spoke with measured calm. “Hey, Eve, right?”

“Hmm? Yes?” She turned to face him, and stood just an iota shorter than Koru. Her smile was warm, and Koru took that instant to admire her features up close. Sunkissed tan skin, long face framed by thick brown hair, her full kissable lips. She cocked one carefully trimmed eyebrow up. “Can I help you?” Her emerald eyes seem to sparkle with wonder.

He smiled wanly and lowered his eyes a bit, then looked back up hurriedly. “Ah,” he started, “I really like your boots.” He chuckled nervously. Inwardly, he cursed a foul storm at his own stupid awkwardness.

“Oh.” Eve’s smile fell a bit and her voice lilted in her slight confusion. “Uhm, thank you. They’re new. Hmm, do I know you? You seem familiar.” She kept her eyes locked on his.

The corner of Koru’s mouth twitched. He hastily slapped his palm against his forehead and dragged it down over his face in exasperation. “Damn, I knew I’d forget something!” He extended his gloved hand out to her. “My name is Koru. Koru Sen.”

She offered him a grin and took his hand, shaking it firmly once. “Eve Delaine.”

Koru felt himself relax at her touch, relieved to be past the first hurdle. “So then, Eve,” He inhaled deeply, “Do you think I could tag along on your next patrol?” He said all too quickly, and amended with, “Or, you know, maybe lunch or dinner or something?” He trailed off and clasped his hands together in front of his waist nervously. 

By now a small crowd had gathered to watch the two warlocks, drawn in by Phoenix and Roy’s shouts of encouragement and lured to stay by the prospect of seeing success or heartbreak. Koru did all he could to keep his full attention on Eve. Until he had asked, however, many of the onlookers did not know what--if anything--they should be watching.

“So what, like a date?” Eve replied simply. She laughed out loud at that, showing off her straight white teeth. She touched her hips and leaned against the railing, looking him up and down, appraising him with almost hungry eyes. A look of realization dawned on her face as she burst into a giggle. “Wait, wait, hold on. Are you the one Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-drunk were cheering for?” With one hand she pointed to the northern balcony to their right. Then she added, “Are they your teammates?”

Koru couldn’t be sure, but he thought he felt his blush deepen. “Yes,” He nodded, “Their subtlety needs work.”

“Agreed,” she replied smoothly, “But I think it’s cute.” She looked over to Phoenix and Roy, and waved. The two men bumped fists and kept watching. “You have good friends looking out for you. I bet they talked you out of the boring stuff, didn’t they?” Eve gave Koru a sly look, “You know, one guy asked for a debate on the first date. Lame, right?”

“Yeah,” Koru said a little softer than he’d have liked, “Who would think of that? Doesn’t sound very exciting at all, no…” His eyes drifted up and away, and he forced himself to focus again.

“Didn’t help that I sent him home crying.” She shrugged, “He didn’t seem to fully grasp the concept of the subatomic paradigm shifts native to the vacuum of black holes. Basic stuff, really.” She smiled, “So, a patrol date, huh? I have evening patrol in the steppes, a few routine jobs. Wouldn’t be very exciting,” She pursed her lips and held her chin in thought. “So, sure. I could use some company.” With a gentle pat on his shoulder she looked into his eyes, “Meet me in the hangar in an hour, okay?” She gave him a wink, turned, and walked away without waiting for an answer. She already knew. 

Koru watched her go with a dumbfounded look, his mouth agape, a huge grin lighting his face. His knees felt weak and he let them buckle and succumb to the force of gravity, falling to sit on the grass of the Tower’s forward balcony. 

The modest crowd dispersed quickly enough. A small number of Guardians, mostly male, offered a few congratulatory claps before they left. Soon enough it was back to the usual atmosphere--no more drama to distract from visiting the bounty board, reporting to your vanguard, or getting that pistol repaired.

A slow clap from a hunter who had taken a seat on the concrete steps to watch the show dragged Koru from his nigh-blissful euphoric stupor. This hunter was female, clad in full gold and black light armor, her face hidden behind her helmet. Wrapped around her neck and flowing behind her, dancing on the wind, was a long and tattered white cloak. Its hood was down. “Good job, dude. She doesn’t usually go for nerds.” The hunter stood and glanced to the right, watching Roy and Phoenix approach. “But if you hurt her, I’ll make sure you’ll wish your ghost never found you.” She patted the knife at her belt. Koru made note of the other knives she wore--one on her opposite hip, another on her breastplate, two smaller ones designed for throwing on her forearms, and a large dagger in a boot sheath. With that, she left toward the hangar as well.

Koru’s elation could only be cut down so far, and his stunned grin remained even after the potent threat. Still, he composed himself and sat cross-legged in the green grass waiting for his teammates. 

“It’s in an hour!” He exclaimed in equal parts exhilaration and anxiety before they could even ask.

 

**END <3**


End file.
